The random nature of Facebook and other social media is often dumbfounding. I write what I think is a thought-provoking blog entry and post a link on Facebook, and there's no response. But I log on in the wee hours of the morning when I think no one else is up yet and change my profile picture, and there are a gazillion comments. Go, figure.
I recently came across an article by Miriam Kagan, a fundraiser for nonprofit organizations, that sums up how many of us feel when we hear the sound of crickets after posting something on Facebook.
In her article, titled "Why don't my friends like me on Facebook?" Kagan explains:
"Lately, I've noticed an interesting trend: I post something on Facebook that I think is fascinating, hilarious, or some deep revelation into the mysterious world of Miriam Kagan, and my social sphere reacts... in dead silence.
"Failed in my effort to get instant gratification at my own personal awesomeness through likes and comments, I am subsequently delighted and confused by friends who say things like 'your Facebook status the other day made me laugh out loud' or 'you know, it seems from your Facebook posts that your coworkers are really funny' a few days later, when say we are having coffee.
"My inner social addict silently pouts - 'if you liked my status so much, why didn't you 'like' it and show the rest of my social universe how awesome you think I am?'"
Kagan really captures how many of us feel, or at least how I often feel, when I invest a lot of time, energy and emotional equity (the psychological version of "sweat equity") in crafting a post that I hope will spark a dialogue with Facebook friends, but no one says anything. (Read Kagan's full article at this link: http://www.connectioncafe.com/posts/2012/08-august/why-dont-my-friends-like-me.html)
Here are a few theories as to why some Facebook friends remain silent, and some counter-arguments as to why we will never know why people react (or don't react) the way they do:
Nobody likes homework. I'm as guilty as the next guy, or gal, in not clicking links or reading lengthy posts because I often only have limited time to browse Facebook and I'm not in the mood to "read" or do anything that feels like "homework." I just want to be a passive browser.
Why this argument doesn't make sense: If something really grabs my attention, it doesn't matter how long it is, I'll make the time to read it all the way through.
Some people like to remain anonymous. Some Facebook friends really don't like attention; they just like to see what other people are up to. They may be afraid that if they like or comment on a post, they'll get sucked into a long, drawn-out conversation that they either don't have time for or just don't feel like taking part in.
Why this argument doesn't make sense: Many "silent creepers" will comment on major life events, such as weddings, new jobs, relocations to new cities, et cetera. So maybe they just don't want to get bogged down in everyday, mundane stuff or philosophical arguments.
I can understand not wanting to get caught up in controversial topics like politics, religion or racial issues, but why people don't comment on perfectly harmless items like pop-culture trivia is beyond me.
In-person contact is preferred. Rather than comment on or "like" something they see on Facebook, some people would rather wait until they see that person face to face or talk to him or her on the phone to catch up.
Why this argument doesn't make sense: If interacting online is so impersonal and off-putting, why be on Facebook in the first place?!
Who knows why the "silent majority" stay silent? Like the lyrics of the classic song "Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries": "You musn't take it serious/it's much too mysterious..."
This is the second in a series of blog posts about the perils of social media. I had originally conceived this series as being all about the pitfalls of using social media for self-promotion, but it's a topic with so many layers, I decided to expand it.
In my next post on this topic, which I plan to publish on Monday, October 13, I'll explore social media etiquette, and why there is no such thing.
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