Can You Alienate People By Responding To Their Facebook Comments?

When you post something on Facebook and someone takes time out of their busy schedule to comment, you may think acknowledging their comment with a response is the polite thing to do. You're wrong. And here's why:

Responding to comments on Facebook could actually discourage friends and acquaintances from commenting on your posts because your replies clog up their newsfeeds and email addresses where they receive Facebook notifications.

By responding to everyone's comments to your post, you run the risk of becoming that annoying friend whom everyone avoids because the motormouth never knows when to shut up. You can't just have a quick "hi and bye" chat with that person; they always entangle you in a long, drawn-out conversation for which you just don't have the time or interest.

I've found that sometimes it's preferable to "like" people's comments to my posts rather than responding with a comment of my own - that way, you're not always trying to have the last word. Another option is to wait until the last comment to your post has come in and then post a response to the entire group, such as, "Thanks, everybody, for your insights."

The only problem with the latter approach is that sometimes comments to posts trickle in not only days after you've posted something, but weeks later. It all depends on when people log in and see the post.

Of course, as with everything involving social media, there are exceptions to every "rule." Here are some exceptions for when it's okay to respond to every comment to one of your posts:

You've set up a professional fanpage. If you're an author, a musician, a photographer or some other creative type or a business owner and you've set up a professional fanpage, your followers will get a kick out of your responses to their comments. It makes the experience of supporting your work an interactive one.

A major life event. I think it's not only perfectly acceptable, but people expect you to respond when you've posted about a major life event such as a wedding, the birth of a child, an illness or death of a loved one, a new job, a job loss, relocating to a new city for a new opportunity, etc. Birthdays and other special occasions also tend to elicit a lot of comments to which people either expect or don't mind if you respond. And anything involving people's kids seems to generate a lot of conversation threads.

A hot topic. If you post about something currently in the news, people may want to have a back-and-forth conversation, especially if it's something that may directly affect them. For example, a lot of people are buzzing about the Ebola outbreak, especially in Ohio, where I live, because one of the infected workers from Texas traveled to Cleveland. Many people, therefore, are understandably curious about how to prevent contracting the virus.

Pop culture. This category is hit and miss, since taste in music, movies, books, TV shows, etc., is very much an individual thing. And people have surprisingly short attention spans - and even shorter memories.

I'm often taken aback when I make a "remember when" post about cultural touchstones from my generation (Generation X), but none of my peers seems to recall what I'm referring to. However, posts about some current cultural trend, such as the most recent episode of a much-watched TV show like The Big Bang Theory or the latest elimination on The Voice or Dancing with the Stars, can turn into an online water-cooler discussion.

This is part of a series of posts on "Adventures in Social Media." In my next post on this topic, which I plan to publish on Monday, Oct. 27, I'll explore the main differences in using Facebook vs. Twitter.