Embracing My Inner Grinch: A Few Of My Least Favorite Things

As the holiday shopping season winds down, I'd like to take this opportunity to expound on some of my biggest pet peeves that bug me when I set foot in retail stores and restaurants. I'm speaking from experience, having been on both sides of the register as a customer and a former cashier and bagger at grocery and convenience stores. 

Here are a few of my least favorite things:

Handwritten signs. Nothing screams "unprofessional" like a note scrawled on a scrap of paper and taped to a drive-thru window with a message such as, "Closed. Please Pull Forward." Unless a business is in the boondocks where there are no office supply stores, public libraries or FedEx Office locations where signs can be purchased or typed and printed easily and cheaply, there's no excuse for this type of sloppiness. 

Randomly bursting into song. I was recently in line at an electronics store when the cashier, a young woman who appeared to be in her teens, suddenly started singing for no apparent reason other than she had a tune playing in her head and had to get it out. 

"You should try out for 'American Idol," I told her in a tone laced with sarcasm. She seemed genuinely surprised that I didn't appreciate her impromptu "MTV Unplugged" set. In fact, she didn't even seem to be aware that anyone had heard her outburst, as if she was in the privacy of her own bathroom, singing in the shower, and someone had barged in on her. 

Leaving cash registers and reception desks unattended. Why should customers have to wait an indefinite amount of time to be seated or pay for an item? Leaving the reception desk, checkout counter or maitre d' stand unattended is a good way to turn a willing customer into an irate one, or lose customers altogether when they get tired of waiting and walk out. 

Smothering customers with attention or ignoring them. I've encountered both extremes in retail stores: when an overly helpful salesperson hovers over me when I just want to browse on my own. And the opposite, when the person behind the register doesn't bother to glance in my direction or acknowledge my presence in any way. There is a happy medium: greeting and offering assistance without stalking.

"Venting" in front of customers. I was recently checking out at a discount store when the cashier and another employee began griping about a coworker or supervisor who was getting on their nerves. They went on and on, complaining as if I wasn't even standing there. 

You could blame this type of inconsiderate, unprofessional behavior on the company and say it's an example of a business that underpays and under-trains employees, creating a hostile work environment. But why should I, the customer, get an earful when all I want to do is pay for my stuff and leave?

This post was part of my "Embracing My Inner Grinch" holiday series (I published the previous posts on Dec. 5 and Dec. 12). 

'Tis the season to be cranky…