Adventures In Social Media: Was It Something I Said?

I sat on a park bench eating lunch in the luminous sunshine, enjoying a beautiful late October day.

As I chomped into my sub sandwich, I noticed a friend walking by. I took a swig of water, preparing to say hi to my friend as she walked by. I smiled and began to raise my hand to wave hello...

And then the funniest thing happened. Not funny ha ha, but funny odd. My friend kept walking by as if she never saw me.

It was possible my friend didn't see me. I wasn't sitting in her direct line of sight. And since this was lunch hour during a weekday, she could have been preoccupied and simply didn't notice me in her rush to get back to work.

But I couldn't help but wonder, was it something I said? More to the point, did my friend ignore me because of the comment I'd made to her Facebook post the previous day?

So that I don't actually offend my friend if she comes across this blog, I'll just make up a hypothetical Facebook post. Let's say my friend posted about how great the Internet is because you can watch pretty much any movie for free. And let's I responded with a snarky comment like, "Yeah, isn't illegal downloading convenient?"

In my mind, it was clear that I was just joking. But maybe my friend thought I was being a goody two-shoes, sitting in judgment and accusing her of piracy.

First of all, why post about a given topic if you don't want to spark a debate? It's silly to expect everyone's opinions to agree with yours.

With my comment to my friend's Facebook post, I didn't intend to come across as judgmental, just funny and sarcastic. But you never know how people are going to respond to a comment, especially in print or online. When you're conversing face to face, you can pick up clues from someone's facial expression, body language and tone of voice that they're joking. But if you were to read a text of what they said, all context would be totally lost.

Those of us who venture onto social media walk the fine line of expressing ourselves freely and being cautious to censor ourselves so as not to offend. This is especially true for writers and other creative types and entrepreneurs who use social media to try to engage potential readers, customers, etc.

You can't engage people if you're being totally safe and boring. On the other hand, you run the risk of alienating people if you're too outspoken and are always sounding off about your views on race relations, politics, religion, abortion and other controversial issues that people often avoid in "polite" small talk.  

And the dilemma over what and how much to say online is compounded by the fact that many employers these days do social media searches on potential and current employees. So one un-wise post or comment on Facebook or ill-conceived Tweet could cost you a job.

That's not to say that we should live in fear that "Big Brother" is watching us, but putting some thought into what you post on social media sites - and how and if you comment on what others post - is absolutely necessary if you want to remain gainfully employed.

As cowardly as it may be, there are certain Facebook posts that I won't comment on with a 10-foot pole. I'm constantly amazed that some people think it's okay to post racist, sexist or homophobic jokes, extremely partisan political rants and foul language on Facebook and other sites.

I've known people who have gotten in hot water because of complaining about their jobs on Facebook. Perhaps it's wrong, or at the very least childish, for coworkers to tattle about an employee's complaints about the company on Facebook. Venting in public may help you blow off a little steam, but it could also compound the stress you're already under by putting your very livelihood at stake.

I haven't seen or spoken to my friend since that gorgeous fall day in the park a few weeks ago. But I'm hoping that when we do see each other again, she won't hold anything I said online against me.

This is part of a series on "Adventures in Social Media." In next week's installment, in a blog entry I plan to post on Monday, Nov. 17, I'll review the experience of maintaining this blog since I began actively posting again in August after nearly a year of inactivity.